Memorial Day Festivities
by hurricanejessica
I slept at my mom’s house last night. This morning, I awoke to my mother throwing open the door, Fleetwood Mac blaring from her iPhone.
mom: I was trying to get American music on Pandora for Memorial Day, and it starting playing this.
me: Maybe it thought you wanted folk music. Try “patriotic music.”
mom: I did.
me: (mumbling something unintelligible into my pillow)
5 minutes later…
mom: (bursting through the door again) I tried “Star Spangled Banner” and it’s playing this! (Holds phone to my face) It’s cathedral music!
me: Yes, I can hear that. Try “Proud to be an American.” That song unabashedly states its agenda.
1 minute later…
mom: I tried it, and it’s playing, “Sometimes It Rains.”
me: Looks like Pandora is predicting a bleak future for America.
mom: You’re very pessimistic when you’re tired.
me: I promise to sing “America the Beautiful” with you after noon, when I’m a real person again. (faceplant into pillow.)
mom: I should have known better than to try and talk to you at this hour. (Pandora starts to play something wildly inappropriate again.) I give up!
me: Finally! Sleep.
mom: (Hits me with pillow.)
5 minutes later:
mom: (throws open door) It’s playing “The Star Spangled Banner!” Thumbs up! Thumbs up! Can I give it several thumbs up?
me: I have no idea how many thumbs up you can give it, mom. In real life, you’re usually limited to two. But the awesome thing about a thumbs up is that you can deliver it silently.
mom: Harumph! (Storms out.)
(I don’t ever want to forget mornings like these.)
